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If You Were Me

by Deluxxe

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1.
I didn’t send you a flower, you hadn’t seen my face Crest the darkest hour, inside the darkest place I saw your silhouette, I’m sure it wasn’t a dream A holy vision and unrivaled ecstasy Stood inside the hallway, couldn’t tell the time Sitting, hoping, watching, waiting for a sign It’s haunted me (waiting for a sign) Keeps taunting me (waiting for a sign) Can’t run, can’t hide (waiting for a sign) I’m waiting for a sign Footprints in the snow, walk home to demise Draining all my blood, I see those pale blue eyes Cryptic messages, a love language you speak Stewing on it, stewing never here to stay Double take and disappear until stars align Sitting, hoping, watching, waiting for a sign Another day bleeds another night Maybe I’ll see you in another life
2.
A subtle sense of guilt I always seem to have Washes over me with the words you said Can’t help but regret the things we never did And I can’t help but miss a time I never lived I cut the heart line in the palm of my hand Then sat and watched it bleed I cut the head line in the palm of my hand And thought of what could be Scratching at the back of my skull Queen of hearts, far apart Fester, ferment, words carry no intent Can’t do a thing at all Time is fleeting and I’ve been sleeping I broke down, there’s only mercy in dreaming North Park lights were glowing red They glimmered just for you “Black cats don’t roam this way” But how can this be true?
3.
There’s a want to be quiet, clear and clean Dim nothingness, myself to please Because all I’ve ever offered is what I’ve never been And all I’ve ever wanted is what I’ve never seen Can’t stand to disappoint, so I’ll hide my face Out of sight, out of mind. I’m in another place I’m in another place, in another place Crawl inside, inside my head Escape from what you think of me, the truth in crimson red Because all I’ve ever offered is what I’ve never been And all I’ve ever wanted is what I’ve never seen Can’t stand to disappoint, so I’ll hide my face Out of sight, out of mind. I’m in another place I’m in another place, in another place Afraid of falling short, so I’ll hide my face Out of sight, out of mind. I’m in another place I’m in another place, in another place
4.
Moving On 02:38
Scars of the past still on my face Nothing to hide as I try to find my place Though I’m still frozen down to the bone I’ll admit that I don’t wanna be alone anymore You either shake the feeling or look it in the eyes Face the fact it’s time to say goodbye Don’t wanna be stuck wanting more That’s not a life worth living for I’m moving on The progress of life will lead you to death Why shouldn’t I try to make mine the best? I’m moving on If you were me, you’d understand because You don’t want to be alone
5.
Like an animal in a latex suit A stone cold heart wearing knee-high boots I’ll paint a picture of what I want No secrets now, tell me every thought Caught up in your net, nothing holds us back Under red lights I fall into your trap I wanna ruin your life, I’m gonna take your soul Cause I can be everything you want and more Jet black hair and pale white skin Lips of an angel, sweet with sin Jet black hair and pale white skin Voodoo smile, sweet with sin Leading me like a moth to a flame Carnal desires rotting my brain Silk slipped slowly down to the floor Lace laid lonely by the bedroom door Screams from the heat, calling my name Led on leash but cannot be tamed Just a loveless act of selfish bliss Your voodoo smile, sweet with sin
6.
A phantom figure facing me, I’m laying by the door Whispers drowned out by the heat, a quiet sob to sorry sleep Watch a light flicker green, fry and fade to black Like skipping stones and broken bones, a feeling so abstract Look at my hand so curious, you held it like your own A scar that fades never goes away, to think of you alone It all seems the same to me Somewhere between desperate and divine, divine lies your soul I walked the same route that we walked before, spring to summer nights Another prisoner of the sun, swept. You lost your favorite charm You used to wear it around your neck like I would hold you on my arm It all seems the same to me Look at my hand so curious, you held it like your own A scar that fades never goes away, to think of you alone It all seems the same to me, a feeling like a nail on the floor Push slowly through the skin, and there’s nothing left to hide anymore
7.
Pleasure sent from above or pain growing deep inside All we want is mindless love Lust that can’t be justified Lust that can’t be justified There’s common ground in each other’s beds A type of love that words can’t express There’s common ground in each other’s beds Heaven sent pleasure, we coalesce Guilt stricken innocence, a drop of blood on your fingertip And I can’t help myself Silence is golden, silence is gray, silence is the one thing that keeps me away But you can’t help yourself Yesterday’s “I love you” means you’ll miss me today And heartache is a pain you just can’t take
8.
You ash your cigarette under a summer sun Asking me if I ever thought this day would come Your golden flyaways trapped in between your lips A question forms on mine and I try to forget Could I be falling for her? Could I be wishing on a star or is this her? Am I dreaming now? Lightning in a bottle, yeah I think it’s her Kissing in the shadows of green after dark Steaming up the windows in the back of my car Your droning pace, like poetry You’d read it all the time if you were me Sweet like a clementine, sultry sigh to say goodnight I’ll come back, back again And this time I won’t think twice

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released September 22, 2023

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Deluxxe Buffalo, New York

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